The Life You Want Is Built One Habit at a Time

Hello fellow readers, welcome to the blog! I'd like to talk about something deceptively simple, yet deeply transformative: habits.

I’ve come to realize that so much of the life we want, the person we hope to become, the peace we’re desperate to feel—all of it starts at the ground level. Not in dreams. Not in goals. Not even in intentions. But in small, consistent actions we do daily, even when no one’s watching. Especially when no one’s watching. And here’s the truth that hits harder the more you sit with it: one good habit almost always leads to another. Like steps on a staircase, each small action is building elevation. Each moment of discipline is momentum. The man who starts making his bed in the morning isn’t just tidying up—he’s training himself to live with order, to begin the day on purpose instead of by accident. That one step? It sets the tone for the next.

You’ve heard it said that success is built on habits. But I want to go a bit deeper. I think the reason we struggle with forming good habits is because we’ve spent too long being ashamed of the very things that are screaming for attention. The parts of ourselves we’re embarrassed by—the procrastination, the laziness, the overthinking, the impulse to numb out—those aren’t signs that you’re broken. They’re clues. Indicators. Like warning lights on your dashboard. Your shame or disappointment is pointing to something. It’s not just trying to humiliate you. It’s trying to redirect you. It's telling you about the areas in your life that you disapprove of and aren't happy about. They fail your own standards.

The reason you feel embarrassed about skipping the gym or ignoring your finances or mindlessly scrolling your life away is because you know that is not what you should be doing. You know that. Your brain knows that. Your soul knows that. But instead of listening, instead of heeding that call as a sacred responsibility, we bury it. We rationalize. We delay. We allow the alarm to sound, but ignore it.

You are responsible for the type of person you become. Not your parents. Not your upbringing. Not your trauma. Not your environment. Not your friends. Not even your boss, your spouse, or your enemies. Just you. Because at the end of the day, you can either continue being the person shaped by circumstance, or you can become someone shaped by conscious choice. And that all starts with habit. I can guarantee that whoever is reading this right now—you, yes you—already knows exactly what you should be doing. Right now. Not tomorrow. Not next week when things “calm down.” Not when you feel more motivated or when Mercury stops retrograding or when you finally “feel ready.” Right now. You know you can list three or four things right at the top of your head that have been on your heart and mind for years, maybe even decades, that you need to be doing (or stop doing) and pursuing. Habits you know would change your life: start working out, wake up earlier, pray, journal, study, stop drinking, quit smoking, save money, read more, clean your space, confront that friend, forgive that person. Start that business. Ask them out.

But you’re not doing them. Why? Because you’re scared. You think you’ll fail. You think it won’t matter. You think the mountain is too big, the goal is too far, the version of you that lives on the other side of this transformation is too impossible to reach. You’ve already written the ending of the story before you’ve taken the first step. But all those are just excuses. Let me say that again, and let it sting a little if it needs to: Those are just excuses.

The truth is you just don’t want it bad enough. Because if you did, you’d already be doing it. And I’m not saying that to shame you. I’m saying it to wake you up! We always assume we have more time than we actually have! Time is a precious resource and it is irredeemable. You can get that money back, but not so with time. We all are allocated a portion of it some more than others. What matters is not how much you have but what you have done with it! Not the amount but the quality! And your life is too short to keep living as a passive observer, always planning and dreaming but never executing. But no one reaches the end of the ladder by dreaming and fantasising about it. You have to climb. One step. Then another. None of us know our end, or how much time we have left here on earth. But we will give an account for what we did with that time. The time we have been given is precious, so don't waste it!

Get out of bed and write that paragraph. Drink that water. Go for that ten-minute walk. Delete that toxic app. Apologize for that thing you said. Start the journal entry even if it feels stupid. Read one page. Make one healthy meal. Sit in silence for two minutes and breathe. And here’s the crazy part: one step always makes the next one easier. Because action breeds confidence. And confidence removes distractions and breeds clarity. And clarity? It births purpose.

You don't have to figure it all out right now. You just have to do the next right thing. And when you do, you're building something that can't be taken from you: character. Integrity. Confidence. I’m writing this not as someone who’s got it all figured out. I’ve lived in those ruts. I’ve made the excuses. I’ve stood at the bottom of the staircase and convinced myself it was too steep, too hard, too pointless. But then one day, something clicked. Not because I had a major epiphany or a perfect plan. It clicked because I started. The pain of staying the same was greater than the pain of changing.

And from that first honest, vulnerable, half-hearted step—I realized that everything I was looking for was on the other side of doing the things I was avoiding. And that the shame I felt about my situation was never meant to paralyze me. It was meant to guide me. So wherever you are today—no matter how behind you feel, how lost, how inconsistent, how tired—just take a step. You don’t need to see the whole staircase. Just trust that if you keep climbing, one habit will lead to another. You don't need a guru or a teacher you just need to start. And before long, you won’t just be closer to the life you want—you’ll already be living it. You are who you choose to become. Start choosing better, one step at a time.

There’s a verse that’s been sitting with me lately—Proverbs 16:32: “Better a patient person than a warrior, one with self-control than one who takes a city.” At first glance, it seems like a quiet verse. Humble. But if you really let it marinate, it turns out to be quite bold. God is telling us that the man who governs himself is greater than the man who conquers the world. That patience and self-control—two things that feel so ordinary, so slow, so unimpressive—are in fact greater than brute strength or thunderous conquest, in the eyes of God. That’s a hard pill to swallow in a culture that glorifies hustling, grinding, and “crushing it.” But divine wisdom flips the script: true greatness is internal, not external.

And this is exactly why habits matter. Habits are the training ground for self-control and discipline. They are the daily expressions of whether we are at the mercy of our impulses or in command of them. You don’t wake up one day with godly discipline—you build it. Quietly. Repetitively. With small choices that no one claps for. Waking up early when your body says “no.” Closing the laptop when you want to escape into distraction. Saying no to that indulgence, not because it's a sin, but because it's a slope. Choosing solitude instead of noise. Speaking gently when you're tempted to snap. These moments are the battlefield. And every time you choose discipline over impulse, you win a spiritual war most people don’t even know exists. Every habit you form—or refuse to form—is either moving you toward mastery over your life or further into captivity by your feelings and desires.

But here’s where it all comes together: habits aren’t just about productivity or self-improvement—they are about purpose. You can’t live on purpose if you can’t govern your own desires. Purpose requires consistency. Purpose requires clarity. Purpose requires endurance. And all of those things come from self-control. Purpose requires something both bigger and outside of yourself. That’s why God honors the patient man—because patience is faith in motion. It’s trusting that small steps are sacred. That showing up today matters, even if the mountain hasn't moved yet. You can’t fulfill your calling while living at the mercy of your emotions. That’s the reward of habit: not just progress, but alignment with the life you were actually born to live. A life that glorifies and exalts your creator. See you guys soon!